This is a big one but it had to be done because when people hear committees they start to panic. I asked a dear friend what comes to mind when he thinks of committees and he responded in one word. Headache. I laughed but lets be honest, many see it that way. In my blog today I will share tips on how to approach this delicate topic.
So a good number of us have at one point or another been in a committee as an invited member or as the one requiring the committee. And let us be honest, African weddings have always been a ‘’village’’ affair. The concept of getting a wedding planner is quickly catching up however a majority of the weddings are planned and executed by a team of friends and relatives who the couple feels is their A-Team group of people and rightfully so. I definitely felt so much love and joy being surrounded by and having our closest friends and family help put our dream and vision together for the big day. I mean when I say our committee came through for us, I mean they came all the way through (a big shout out to them).We were fortunate but unfortunately for others, committees have been a huge disappointment.
So is it really necessary to have a committee?I say Yes and No however this is dependent on different factors. The one thing that is absolutely clear(and I cannot stress this enough) is that if you do not separate, understand and most importantly clarify what you need a committee for then you are setting yourself up for disappointment and yes headaches for sure. The Kenyan way is to create a WhatsApp group, put 100 people in it and call it a wedding committee. Well yes it is a committee but one to cause you nothing but sleepless nights. Many unfortunately use this as an avenue to update people on their planning process all with the aim or intention of using it to raise funds for their big day ( if we can just be honest for a second please…) So let us change the narrative.
Here are my few tips on how to go about it.
1. Define what your committee is for. Not defining the purpose of a committee is the number one mistake many couples make. Is it a planning and organizing committee or is it a budget committee? A planning committee is one where tasks and activities are allocated and most of the discussions revolve around how the activities of the day will run. It should consist of a small group of people to be as effective as possible. A budget committee is one that revolves around raising funds for your big day and this one can be as many people as you choose.
2. Allocate roles and responsibilities-Listen a wedding is not a joke. A committee has the power to relieve a huge amount of stress off your back if you just handle it right. Think of it as a project and one that must have the right people in order to be executed successfully. Having your team members volunteer based on what they feel is their strength is best so that people do not feel pushed however if you feel you have a friend or family who would better serve in a different area, feel free to approach them and request them to kindly take up another docket. Match skills and roles. You will thank me later. E.g. my friend Peter is never late for any function we have as friends and so we made him the time keeper because he values time.
3. Your planning committee should not consist of your line up. If you are like me, you have a limited number of friends and naturally you want them to play all the roles however take it from me, your planning committee should not be people on your line up. They are already playing the role of being by your side the whole day, you do not want them to have to worry about anything else but looking good and turning up on your day. I deliberately did not put one of my lovely cousins on my line up because I knew her strength is getting things done. She did an amazing job being my overall coordinator instead of being on my line- up. Certainly those on your line up, should remain informed and can help greatly but any major responsibility they have should end before the big day itself.
4. Have physical meetings only when necessary. Listen, technology has come to help everyone in the world. You can conduct virtual meetings instead of having to meet every day. This removes the burden off your committee of having to be physically present as well as relieving the meeting expenses. Have deliverables and let your members update you as they go along. This is why it is important to have a small group of people as your committee and not a contact list of 200 people. Because it is easy to hold a small group of people accountable even virtually than a large group of people.
5. Engage your planning committee after you have decided on your suppliers. You still have to do the work. Ultimately the wedding is yours not theirs. Choose your suppliers and then let the planning committee engage them after you have made a decision. We formed the committee after we knew exactly who we wanted to work with and then the committee became responsible for coordinating with the suppliers we had selected. This lifts the load off your shoulders because what the committee will be doing is ensuring everything will happen according to what you have agreed on. Also do not forget to visit the suppliers well in advance with your respective committee members and introduce them so that they can also form a relationship with them.
6. Lastly, after all is said and done my dear friends, do not forget to appreciate your committee for all their hard work and effort. Locally here it is referred to as breaking the committee. As a couple, do not forget to appreciate them because after all there are people out here who are charging for these services and they are called wedding planners. They used their time and their resources to make your day a huge success, it is crucial that they know just how much you appreciate them.
Feel free to add more tips to help other couples out. What did you do? What didn’t you do? What would you do differently? I would be happy to hear from you.
xoxo
Love and Light.